Music – rock and roll

Miss Mystery

Hanging at the discotheque with nothing going down
Sick and tired of clubbing in a one-horse town
Calling for a cooler kind of kid to keep me company
And somehow out of nowhere there suddenly arrived
A vision of an angel right before my eyes
She whispered: Howdy, mister, you can call me Miss Mystery

Miss Mystery
I like the make-up on her face
Miss Mystery
I love the leather and the lace
Miss Mystery
Ooh, I dig the sensuality
Miss Mystery
Too many men to mention
Were craving her attention
But she was coming on to me

She took me by the hand and made me walk across the floor
Her motorbike was waiting right outside that door
Thirty seconds later we were rolling on a heavy machine
She pulled up on the sand dunes, hit me with a kiss
And then she faded out into the midnight mist
Nothing but a shadow on the saddle where her body had been.

Miss Mystery
I let you out of my sight
Miss Mystery, Ow
I shouted out into the night
Miss Mystery
I was abandoned in the rain
Miss Mystery
She never left behind her
A way for me to find her
She never rolled around again

Miss Mystery
She never told me her name
Miss shad-a-loo-ba-doo-ba Mystery
She won’t get out of my brain
Miss Mystery
Nobody knows what I mean
Miss Mystery
Was she a perpetration
Of my imagination?
Was she a woman or a dream?

So Long Mole

Hey, moley’s in the hole!

So long mole

[instrumental]

Mowing in the morning
Hoe-ing in the night
Working all year to get my lawn just right
Come along a moley
Digging up the view
My garden is a goner, what’s a gardener to do?

Chorus
You put the ferret in the hole
Set the ferret on the mole
Send the ferret underground
Till old moley goes down
So long mole
So long mole

[instrumental]

My ferret’s on the prowl
My ferret’s on the loose
We’re tracking down moley but it just ain’t no use
He’s heading for your garden
He’s got it in for you
And when you see the moley hills, whatcha going to do?

[chorus][instrumental][Repeat v1][chorus]

Repeat after me, I said so long mole

So long mole

Sod off mole

Adios mole

Auf Wiedersehen mole

Sayonara mole

I don’t dig moles

So long mole

So long mole

Well, have you heard about the music, a music of the rocking kind
Invented long ago in a bid to blow the nation’s mind
Well, nobody believed rock and roll would last
How were they to know that it would catch on fast?
So the wheel started turning, rolling as the years unwind.

Well, there’ll always be emotion, there’ll always be a time for tears
There’ll always be devotion, to chase away your darkest fears
As long as there are burdens to weigh you down
Rock and roll songs are going to stay around
The music will still be needed in a thousand years

CHORUS
Rock of ages, time will fly
Rock the ages as the years roll by
Turn the pages and you will see
We’re going to make rock and roll history

Rock of ages, stay alive
Rock of ages, on a 45
On the stages and on the screens
On the covers of the magazines

Rock of ages, I guarantee
Rock of ages going to set you free
From the cages of mind control
That’s rock and roll
That’s rock and roll
That’s rock and roll

Today will be remembered when all of us are over and done
And future generations will thank us in the years to come
But I’m the main attraction that they flock to see
So save all the money and the girls for me
Folks are only human, folks just want to have fun.

CHORUS x 2

FINALE
Roll
That’s rock and roll
The legend of the rock and the roll

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening! Listen, we’ve got a problem! Our guitarist is really sad tonight! Yeah! The problem is, he thinks he’s no good! We’ve told him he’s the greatest guitarist in the land, but he doesn’t believe us! Watch this!

[to guitarist] – Hey! Are you the greatest guitarist in the land?

Guitarist: [sadly] No.

Oh! Well, ladies and gentlemen, shall we try and cheer him up?

Well, there’s no need to be bitter with your electric gitter, you can send all of your worries away
Calling for somebody, we scored a bosom buddy when you came along our way
Now you’re gonna be a shocker to every other rocker when you walk on to the stage and play
Gonna unemploy them, totally destroy them, it’s a chance you got to take
Ooh, they’re just the run of the mill, they’re just the never do well
You know they’re never going to get into the band
And you might as well believe it, he’s the greatest guitarist in the land

He still looks pretty sad, doesn’t he! Let’s try again!

Well, his daddy sold the car so he could buy him a guitar when he was just a little baby boy
Made it his ambition to destroy the competition in the state of Illinois
Learning rock and roll, it was burning in his soul, and they couldn’t make him go to school
Fighting with the preacher, laughing at the teacher, so he ended up a fool
But now he’s top of the team, now he’s the crop of the cream
They say you name it, he can play it on demand
And you might as well believe it, he’s the greatest guitarist in the land

He STILL looks pretty sad, doesn’t he! I know! Let’s make him play something really difficult, so you can see how good he is, ok? How about a real classic? Thus Spake Zarathustra! But make it really rock!

[guitarist plays flamboyant solo]

Yeah! NOW do you believe you’re the greatest guitarist in the land?

Guitarist: [sadly] No.

Oh! Hm. Well, maybe that one was too easy. Let’s try something harder! How about… the William Tell Overture?

[guitarist plays flamboyant solo]

Brilliant! You played that even better than the guy who wrote it – Mozart or Beethoven or Shankossky or whatever! So NOW do you believe you’re the greatest guitarist in the land?

Guitarist: [sadly] No.

Oh! Ok, well, ladies and gentlemen, shall we give it one more try? Let’s give him something REALLY hard this time! How about… the Can-can? Just please don’t try to dance it!

[guitarist plays flamboyant solo]

Amazing! So NOW do you believe you’re the greatest guitarist in the land?

[guitarist] [wildly] Yeah!

Yeah! He can play ANYTHING!

Well, I’m sending out a message on a Saturday night
That Johnny’s going to rock it at the house of blue light
And you all may be aware they depend upon his night on the tiles

For Johnny is their hero if you know what I mean
And when he’s on the dance floor they rock’n’roll dream
And our hero has a habit of monopolising the scene

BRIDGE:
He’s storming, he’s stomping, he’s rolling around down on the floor
He’s screaming, he’s kicking, he’s losing control
But then he’s loving every minute and he’s howling for more

CHORUS:
He’s going bally in the alley, just like you want him to
He’s getting pally in the alley, just like you want him to

Well, now, Johnny’s daddy taught him everything that he knows
He said, I want to see my little Johnny put on a show
And he’d spin a 45 and say, momma, won’t you look at him go

He said, now, listen to me, Johnny, ’cause I want you to try
To promise me you’ll rock until the day that I die
And tonight he’s looking down and applauding from his seat in the sky

BRIDGE, CHORUS

Chick magnet, lot of ladies love him and they want him,
they’re closing right in for the kill, he’s just a
Chick magnet, bet they’re going to get him and you know that they mean it,
they probably will, like a
Chick magnet, wow ’em and you slay ’em and you turn it on and give ’em a thrill
Ooh, hey, Johnny, we love you and we always will.

Cool Johnny, lot of…

So if you throw another quarter in the record machine
He’ll burn it up and strut it like you ain’t never seen
And you know you got to hand him the title of rocker supreme.